Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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