Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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