Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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