Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
