i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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