Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
