problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
