EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need moral support for this bender
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
