I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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