So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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