Having a random hookup so left but love u
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
