And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize