Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
