But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
