You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
