3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
