the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
