I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
