I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
