yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
