Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
