Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
