he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
