I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
