My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
