Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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