Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
