So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
