There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Randomize
