I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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