i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
