When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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