Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
