So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
