yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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