Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
