I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize