Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize