You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
