last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
