Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
