k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
