susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
