is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
