i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize