At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
