last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
