You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We were destined to go to rehab together
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
