last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
