White coat. Heels.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
