its not stalking. its research.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
