How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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