In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
