She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
