I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A bitchslap is in order.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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