i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
