on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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