South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
