I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
